A Lesson and X’s and Y’s

I grew up as a sports guy and continue to be a sports guy.  So breaking things down by X’s and O’s makes a lot of sense to me.

But X’s and Y’s has always been confusing–and here is a lesson I got last night:

By and large I think I am a guy’s guy–nothing unusual there.  The times I need help, I will reach out to friends and family and ask flat out.  And then I can gauge the value of my friendship or family relations based on the response.

I discovered last night though that women (and I admit right here I do not know if its all women, some women, most women or a specific woman) will “hint” and the help they need–and then gauge the value of the friendship or family relation based on the person’s ability to discern the need and offer support.

Now here is my problem with this–and maybe I am just not the bright (its OK, I am comfortable with this outcome):  It puts the burden of assessing the need and measuring the response on me–and not the person who needs help.  And what’s worse, if I can’t help or can’t supply all of the help that the person seeks–I am in the position of having to embarrass myself in saying, “No, I can’t right now.”

So now, I have let someone (presumably if they have hinted they need help close to me) down, I have let myself down because I can’t be there and I am now focused on my own shortcomings while trying to help someone.

Its the X’s and Y’s that will get you.


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